Finding a new normal can be so hard. Change is the only thing we can count on. The way we deal with this change is important.
When things we count on change around us, its time to reevaluate. We have all hit times in life that are just HARD. This can mean lots of different things for everyone. Everyone deals with life events differently. This is what make the human race so valuable. The differences in all of us is what holds up and allows us to support each other.
WHEN we hit hard times, and we all will, learning how to work through and finding a new normal will help us be successful through it. Please keep in mind that I am talking about normal life situations here. There is a time and place for counseling, getting help etc. I want to give practical help for when life if hard due to the stresses of everyday compounded with an added event, say sickness or a move.
Stick with me for a few steps on how to get through tough times easier. This will not make anything perfect, but I hope to help lighten the burden of what you might be going through.
How’s It Working for You
Anytime life changes or there is a transition in the season of life we are in there is a need to look back over our life and reevaluate. Look and see what is working and what isn’t. This may come when we are changing jobs, getting married, having a baby, moving, find out about an illness, losing a job etc. There are many different reasons we might need to reevaluate our lives.
Chose some areas of your life that are good and write about those. Why are they good? What’s working for you? How would you like to keep this going?
Then look and see what’s not working for you. Write about why it isn’t working and how you might want to change this. You won’t be able to change everything at the same time, so start with something simple to change and work from there.
Simplify, Simplify, Simplify
When life hits us hard, the first place to start is to simplify. Take the list of things you want to change and see if they are even needed in your life anymore. It may be time to say goodbye to somethings.
When life is changing we need to be able to decide what needs to get done and what can wait. Life change will bring new challenges so old things may need to go. For instance, if a new baby is your reason for finding a new normal, then the baby is who needs most of your attention and energy. For a time, certain things my need to be put of the back burner. Maybe its exercise, maybe its shopping or cleaning the house. Taking your life down to the meeting basic needs is ok for a time.
When we hit this time in life, it is a great time to take stock of what’s most important. Narrowing down expectations on our day will help with this. Sometimes allowing ourselves to get less done in a day is key to being successful during a time of simplification.
If you think, this goes against all of the productivity reading I’ve ever done, you are so right. Sometimes its ok to get less done. Taking items OFF our to do list can be the best thing for our mental health.
Finding a Routine is Key
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Any time we are finding a new normal, developing a good habit and routine is key. Go back to the list you made earlier of the things that you want to accomplish and get those done early. This will allow for more flexibility in your day if you know a few key things have been done.
My few things that I like to get done early in the day are: start a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher, make my bed and know what’s for supper. Getting these few things accomplished early helps my day go more smoothly.
There are a few resources that may help you decide on and implement a routine that will work for you.
The first is the Fly Lady. I talk about her a lot, but she has a great system to help develop habits in your life. Her resources have helped me to find more peace in my home by dealing with the perfectionism that holds me back when I was finding a new normal. Check her out, she will help you too.
The next resource that I have found helpful is a course by Money Saving Mom, Crystal Paine. In her course Make Over Your Morning, she takes you through steps on how to create your morning routine. She includes a workbook to walk through. This is a life saver for me.
Lastly, be kind to YOURSELF! Give yourself grace during hard times. Life is full of hard days, weeks, months and seasons. Learning how to love yourself through them will help so much.
You will get through whatever it is you are dealing with. You will find a new normal or it will pass altogether. My prayer for you is to work through some things on purpose to get through the season with ease.