So today I am going to talk about the overwhelm we all feel with life in general. Sometimes life just seems to be closing in on us mommas especially. There are many roles we think we need to fill, several responsibilities to attend to and lots of extras we just throw in for fun. In our world that is flooded with social media showing us the “highlight reel” of other peoples’ lives we sometimes feel like we just don’t have it all together.
I, myself. have stayed in the “day late and a dollar short” lane for quite sometime. Feeling like I don’t measure up and have no hope of ever getting it together. Then one day I asked myself “a day late for WHAT???” Finally, I realized that I am exactly where I am called to be. Thankfully, I have the privilege of serving my family in the way only I get to do. I am the only wife to my dear husband, the only mother to my dear children. Right now in this very minute I get to do that full time without the hassle of working full time outside of the home. I get to do all the chores, shopping, prep for the coming weeks etc while my husband is at work leading a church and my kids are at school.
Now, to some this may seem glamorous and just a dream if you are wanting to get out of your current situation to serve your family in the way. Let me tell you, this side is work too. Not only am I in charge of my own schedule, but I also have to decide what to do and how to do it. There really aren’t any automatic mentors walking beside me.
Besides setting my own schedule, I have to compete with the voices in my own head who are constantly telling me I can’t do this or I am not good enough or you should be doing more. People who work outside of the home sometimes wonder what I do all day and my response sometimes is “I have no idea, but it takes me all day to do it”.
So these are the struggles I have as a stay at home mom and I am sure you deal with some of the same ones. Since I am here to encourage moms with this blog, I’d like to offer up a few suggestions of things that have helped me along the way.
1. Set up Expectations
Sit down and talk with your spouse about who does what for the family. In this day in age with the feminist movement we have blurred this a little bit. We have missed the point and put a real burden on women. Sometimes we expect women to be able to do it all. This is just not going to work.
Decide with your spouse who does what around the house. For instance in our family, we decided long ago that Luke would work full time and I’d stay home. Our situation is pretty simple, I am in charge of the meal planning, grocery shopping, laundry, house cleaning, getting the kids around etc. He goes to work everyday to pay for all of that.
Before you get all up in arms and hateful, Luke is very helpful at home and active with the kids. Our evenings we are working together to get the kitchen cleaned, homework done and kids in bed. He is very helpful with after school and evening activities when he can.
All that to say, I expect him to make the money, he expects me to keep the house running smoothly.
2. Keep thoughts Positive
This is your secret weapon as far as being successful at anything, but especially at something that may require lots of time away from adults and lots of time to think. Your thoughts can be your best friend or your worst enemy when you are alone. I have personally noticed that the more positive my thoughts stay, the better my day will go.
When I struggle to find something good to think about, I go to scripture and find something that will lift my soul. I will also pray for my family if I happen to be working in their room or fixing a meal or doing laundry. A simple prayer for those you are serving will make everyone’s day better.
3. Find a mentor
If you stick around here long enough, I hope to help and share what I know and have learned. There are also fabulous resources locally ready to be heard. My biggest mentor has been my mother in law. She is a preacher’s wife as well so she can relate to what I am going through most of the time.
My mother in law allows me to talk, she listens then always gives her opinion. She is able to offer suggestions that fit any situation I face. I don’t know where I’d be without someone like this in my life. Other women have come in and out of my life over the years. I am so thankful for what they have all contributed to my life and my family.
So What will You do?
Starting new and different things can be hard sometimes but they can also be very good. I hope these few things will help encourage and renew you today. Sit down and talk with your spouse, start changing your thoughts, find a mentor. All of these things will help you become the wife and mother God created you to be.
Comment below and let me know what you plan to do to reset today.